How I Found My Place of Destiny
A testimony by Hazel Chua

For over a decade, God’s love pursued public relations officer Hazel Chua till she found her place of destiny in Trinity Christian Centre.

Faithful God, Faithless Me
In 1995, I left my former church to pursue a relationship with a pre- believer. I was unfaithful and ungrateful to God, who had helped and blessed me greatly in my studies then.

The days that followed were the darkest in my life, as I lived without God’s favour and covering. I started working and met a harsh boss, who made me felt like I was good for nothing. I lost my identity and confidence, I was crushed and trapped. Despite my despair and depression, I rejected suggestions to see a psychiatrist, as I refused to believe that I needed to do so. My situation worsened to the extent that I struggled with even simple daily routines. Life was a torture.

His Mercy, His Grace
My boyfriend saw my pain and felt that we needed to ask God for help. One year later in 1996, he accepted Jesus at a Christmas event. In 1997, God rescued me when my harsh boss miraculously offered me a transfer out of that department. God granted me favour in my new portfolio and I slowly recovered.

My Faith, His Blessings
I first attended Trinity in 1999, but never took the step to go further than attending its service. I resisted the idea of building relationships, of becoming committed to a church all over again. I stayed comfortable visiting churches with my boyfriend, who is now my husband. There was no breakthrough in my life.

In 2003, my husband had to to accept a job that worked overseas. It was another difficult
phase in my life. But I began to attend Trinity more regularly and drew closer to God. In 2005, I
attended the watchnight service. The message preached was on destiny. I told God that I longed to know and fulfill His destiny for my life. I did not want to live my life the same old fruitless way, with the same old fruitless result.

I knew that to experience God’s plans for my life, I could not sit there and do nothing. I knew that the first step I needed to take was to join a carecell, regardless of how I felt. Half a year later, in June 2006, I wrote to Trinity, asking them to connect me to a carecell. God blessed me with a great carecell, just 10 minutes’ walk from my home. This step of faith released God’s blessings and breakthroughs:

His Love, My Response
My life is now so different because of God’s love. For the last decade, even when I strayed away from God, He never forgot me. His love pursued me relentlessly. And indeed, He has fulfilled His promise to me in Psalm 71:20-21 – “Though You have made me see troubles, many and bitter, You will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth You will again bring me up. You will increase my honour and comfort me once again”.

I do not deserve God’s love and blessings. But through it all, He chooses to love me. He is love, He is faithful, He is good. This is His nature. I believe God wants to bless His people and has great things in store for us. But how can He give them to us if we do not allow Him to do so? He is a “gentleman” who never forces His way into our lives. If we do not take the step of faith, we will not see His plans and blessings unfold.

I am excited as I am beginning to see His plans unfold in my life. I will continue to war for His destiny to be fulfilled in my life, my family, my church, my work, my relationships. All praise and glory to God!

MY FATHER LEFT US when I was just a little baby. When I was seven, my mum committed suicide. From that time, I was moved from house to house and never really had a home to call my own. At 13, home was the last place I wanted to be. I felt all alone in this world. I didn’t really have a family. I was searching for an identity. I needed to know that I belonged. I spent the next few years with no purpose and direction in life. All this while, I never stopped looking to be loved by someone. I felt that everyone else had given up on me.

I drifted through life. I didn’t perform well in school because I felt that there was no one to show my results to. Basically, there was no drive in my life then. I felt that there was no meaning and purpose in life. I felt like a misfit in this world. I felt lost and alone, without love and without hope.

Getting High
That was when I turned to drugs. I started to sniff glue with some of my friends. Then it escalated to using heroine provided by my boyfriend. That threw me into the entire world of drugs for the next few years.

I never thought that it would happen but I was caught by the police. When the doors closed on me, it was like a wake up call. It was only then did I realise that I had wasted those three years on drugs.

It was my aunt who first reported me to the authorities. When I had the police knocking on my doors and when I saw my auntie standing next to them, I felt very betrayed. I was thinking, “How could you do this to your own relative, your niece? Don’t you care about my future?” I was really furious and almost to the point of wanting to kill her. I was really really very angry.

I managed to get away with just urine supervision for two years. Basically, I was required to go back to the police station to have my urine checked. This was to make sure that I was not on drugs.

I thought a lot about what I was doing. There were several times when I felt there seemed to be no meaning to life. I was just waking up every morning to take drugs, to feel in control, to feel secure. After the effect of the drugs wore out, I felt really depressed. It was really torturous.

I remembered there were several times I spoke to my then boyfriend about putting all these things behind us and to start afresh. I wanted to lead a normal life – to go shopping, watch movies and the usual things. I did not want to imprison myself at home with drugs.

I told myself, “If this is what life is, then I do not want this life”. There were several periods when I was suicidal. There were nights I was crying to myself and asking why my mother left me alone. I looked out at the window and thought “Hey, maybe I’ll just walk the way my mother had walked. I’ll just jump off and end this painful life.”

By the grace of God (even though at that time, I didn’t know God’s love for me), I didn’t have the courage to do it. That night, I thought to myself, “I need to go somewhere else. I need to leave these all behind me. I want to get out of the situation that I am in.”

I let myself get caught
One night, just prior to my supervision test, my boyfriend invited friends over for drugs. When I looked at all of them doing drugs, my heart broke because I didn’t want to be trapped in this lifestyle. On the spur of the moment, I just snatched the drug they were taking and I took it, knowing that I could not run away from my supervision test the next day.

The next morning, I just headed straight for my test. After I did my test, I waited for them to call out for my name. At that moment, I broke down in tears. I told them I knew that the results would be positive, but I did not know where else to go.

I ended up in a drug rehabilitation centre. I was in solitary confinement for 6 months. I could hear other inmates screaming. I remembered that I had lots of fears – fear of what will happen to me, fear of creepy things, fear of evil spirits, and so on. I needed to sleep with a blanket over me and I need to stack pillows on me until all of me was covered. I was so fearful to the point that I could not sleep. I also need to be exhausted to fall asleep. I was that afraid. It was really scary.

The Turning Point
At this point, I remembered about Jesus and His love for me and what He has done for me. I had heard about Him when I was 12, and even attended a church for about a month. After that I left due to some misunderstandings between friends. At this juncture, I just knew that I needed Jesus. I knew that I needed Him to come into my life to protect me.

With that, I actually told the warden that I wanted Christian Counseling. This lady by the name of Dorothy came and she shared the gospel with me and led me into a prayer of rededication.

As I followed her in the prayer, God filled me with so much joy. It was supernatural because when I looked all around me, I was still surrounded by bars. I was still trapped physically, but something inside me changed. On the inside, something new had taken place. This joy from God is the purest form of joy. At the end of the prayer, I actually leapt up. I was just so overwhelmed by what Christ has done for me.

Even though I needed to be there for six more months, my spirit was rejoicing because I knew that something new has happened. I started to realise that God had been watching over me throughout these years – although I did not know about Him. He chose to reveal his love for me at that critical moment so that I could appreciate His love in my life and really accept Him into my heart.

This was the turning point in my life. It changed my whole perspective on life. After my time in the drug rehabilitation centre, I was placed in a halfway house. Then a counselor brought me to Trinity Christian Centre, and the pastors here walked with me through my journey of recovery. Trinity helped me grow in the Lord to be who I am today – a leader and a young working professional.

My life story on National TV
When I was chosen to have my story featured in the TV documentary “The Turning Point”, I was really afraid. A lot of thoughts were running through my mind. How am I going to face the people I work with? In my job, I meet a lot of people and I wondered if I would be brave enough to face all the questions. Would I be able to face people who do not approve of my past? Besides, I have so many new friends who do not know about my past. Only a very small percentage knows. What would they think of me?

I would like to erase that part of my life because it doesn’t look nice. But God spoke to me: There are a lot of people who are still in darkness. They are still trying to see if they can get out and some of them don’t even think that they can get out of this. God wants to use my story to inspire them, God wants to show them that there is a God that cares.

I am really grateful for how God has restored me, healed me, and brought meaning and purpose into my life. He has been with me every single step in this journey. I guess you could say that God has turned this tattered tapestry into a beautiful master piece.

The documentary “The Turning Point”, featuring Carol’s life story, was aired on national TV twice, once on Channel 8 and once on Channel 5.

I am a varsity student. Before knowing God, I was a regular member of the rat race of this fast-paced society. I was insecure and derived my self-worth through the achievements I attained. I would toil day and night just to achieve good grades so that people would recognize my ability. I was so obsessed with doing well that I became selfish and unhelpful. Friends would ask me about school work and I will say things like “aiya, this one no need to study one la, I also never study”when in fact, I was mugging the very same chapter the night before.

Analogously, I felt like a duck: cool, calm, collected on the surface but paddling madly below the water. Using my own strength, I was relatively successful in the worldly sense. However, deep inside, I was tired and burned-out.

God touched me and I received Him as Lord and Saviour on 23rd August 2003. He granted me the rest I needed and I have never felt so refreshed before. However, in the very semester when I received Christ, I was out of NUS Arts dean’s list for the 1st time after 2 consecutive semesters on the dean’s list.

Doubts invaded my mind. On one hand, I knew God is real. On the other, I questioned my own wisdom in forsaking my comfort zone and following Him.

Then, at one of the services, God asked me to run to Him and not run away from Him. I thank God for speaking so intimately to me. I began to trust that His power would be displayed in my studies as I follow Him faithfully. I took comfort in the fact that I may not be on the Dean’s List for one semester, but I am on God’s list forever.

God continued to change the mindsets I had about myself. I’m no longer obsessed with worldly successes as I have grown to know that I am valuable and significant to my God who accepts me for who I am. I also become less selfish and more helpful. Now my friends know whose number to dial when they need help with school work.

By His Grace, I was back onto the dean’s list during the second, third and fourth semesters of my walk with the Lord. It is so cool to be a Christian, isn’t it? I can be secure in who I am in God. There is no longer an obsession with grades or how the world looks at me, and God still blesses me in my studies.I recognize that it is not the strength or the power of my hands that produce the good results. It is God who gives me the ability.

Now I am in my fifth semester as a believer and in the midst of my exams. But I am not the least worried because I know that my God will fight my battles for me. I know that with God, nothing is impossible! All Glory be to God!

Three and half years ago, I was not a Christian, and never thought of becoming one. I started smoking in my school days, therefore, smoking at least a half-pack per day was quite normal. Being in the army, vulgarities are the main part of my vocabulary. The sight of pretty ladies and the feel of alcohol alongside with cigarettes make a man’s world goes round. So, after getting a steady job, just like any young adult, I would go clubbing and drinking in nightclubs very often. Getting drunk and high is a norm. Of course, betting and gambling were not left out in my world of enjoyment. I betted heavily on soccer and my favourite is mahjong. I used to think how I could live without mahjong, cigarettes and clubbing. Basically, whatever you name, I have done it.

One day, a lady friend invited me to Trinity for an evangelistic event. (Lady invited me, so quite hard to say “no”.) When I went for the event, I felt that it was like a play. She shared Jesus with me, and asked me if I believe in Christ. I said, “a bit lah!” (Not nice to reject a girl then.) Well, she thought that I did believe and thus she explained to me how I can actually communicate with God thru the Bible. She gave me a Bible, and a guide on communicating with God. I brought the Bible back, read a bit, felt asleep and left it alone most of the time. I did not take it seriously then.

One night, as I was smoking at my window as usual, I started to ponder about my life in the future and how to solve some difficult situations at home. Then I remembered what my friends shared with me about Jesus. So, out of curiosity, I shut myself in my room, and read the “guideline” of spending Time Alone With God. With an open heart, I started to read the bible seriously. Inside the Bible, it speaks about the love of God, and a lot of things about sins. Yup! I am actually quite a big sinner, considering all the sins which were stated inside the Bible. I started wondering how His love is so real.

Well, with my eyes closed, I started to say to Him, “Jesus, if you are really a real God, show Yourself to me, or somehow let me feel the presence of Your love.” Minutes later, I actually felt some kind of a “peaceful presence” hovering around me (definitely not the spooky kind). Still with my eyes closed, I saw visions of those unpleasant things which I had done, and I suddenly felt so guilty. Much to my astonishment, tears started rolling down my cheeks, I actually cried! I had never cried for over 10 years.

Then I opened my eyes and saw this verse: “This is love: not that we loved God, but He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” (1 John 4:10)

Everything happened within the space of ten minutes, and I knew it was definitely the work of Jesus and it was real. After that moment of encounter, I actually said my own sinner’s prayer and become a Christian.

I started to attend church services and carecell meetings regularly. My perspective of Christianity changed and I began to know that God has a plan for my future. With God’s help, I managed to break free from the bad habits and now have many great friends in church. He has always been real to me through good and bad times. Till this day, I have never regretted being a Christian. Thank God!

I grew up in a small, dysfunctional family. My father was an alcoholic, and my mum, a stubborn woman. I grew up wondering how two people like that can come to know each other, fall in love and get married. I grew up asking, why do you bring me into this world when I don’t feel and enjoy what a proper family should be like?

By God’s grace, I was educated in a mission school. For ten years, I hear the words of the Bible everyday during assembly and chapel sessions. I technically accepted the Lord in 1980, when I was in Secondary 1. However, I did not read the Holy Bible nor did I attend any church. But God’s words were with me all this while, and they were like a sword that protected me in all the years to come.

As I moved on to my adolescent and teenage years, I grew to be more and more rebellious. To a certain extent, National Service made me worse as my vocabulary of vulgarities, swear words, etc. increased by the day. It was very common for me to speak, even in my adult years, with sentences punctuated with lots of curses, swearing and vulgarities. I was very hot-tempered and am always looking for opportunities to offend or pick a bone with someone.

I, too, had my fair share of running afoul with the law. It was only by God’s grace that I was not locked up nor had my name black marked in the police files. There were times when I was so drunk, I would just sleep and hang around like a vagabond.

I carried with me many baggages of anger, resentment, bitterness, vengeance, revenge, hate. It was like the world is against me, and I felt that someday, someone had to pay for all of these.

Twice in my life I almost became a murderer. The first time was when I was in the army at age 19. And the second time, when I was working in Thailand at the age of 25. Although I was not a part of the underworld fraternity, I knew of them and I knew how to mix and make use of them. It was in my weakest moments, when temptations to murder were so strong, that I heard the Lord rebuked me. He said: “You are not the giver of life, how dare you want to take life!” It was these very words and the fear of the Lord that has kept me alive thus far.

Through all of this, I always had a strange feeling deep down inside me that one day, I will return to Him, that I will return to the church. What I didn’t know was that this very day was to come 23 years later and when I was 5000 km away from Singapore, when I was all alone in Perth, Western Australia.

In my most darkest hour, when I was down and out, that the Lord encouraged me when He charged me with these words, “ARISE! MY MIGHTY WARRIOR!” And He spoke these words in such a regal, majestic, kingly voice that it immediately raised my spirit. To this very day, these words are ever on my mind and in my heart, encouraging me and motivating me to press on and press in, in these last days. The very words - ARISE! MY MIGHTY WARRIOR!

God has blessed me so much. Today, I have a family of my own, a beautiful wife and a beautiful son Isaac. I consider myself a very blessed man and I want to be a blessing to others because I believe that if God can change and turn my life around, He is more than able to turn yours too. I no longer carry those many baggages of anger, bitterness, resentment, vengeance, revenge, hate, etc. as Jesus had already taken them off my shoulders. I only want to love Him and be loved by Him for all eternity, to worship and serve Him, to bring honour and glory unto Him and to exalt His Holy Name. And to proclaim unto all mankind that from everlasting to everlasting, He is THE ONLY TRUE LIVING GOD, THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY.

You raised me up, so I can stand on mountains,
You raised me up, to walk on stormy seas,
I am strong, when I am on Your shoulders,
You raised me up, to more than I can be.